I'm One of Those Expressive Types

(Source: fassyy, via somewhereto-losemyself)

Jimmy was not good at reaching out, and you just knew that anything could be mistaken for a rejection. I felt like I was walking on eggshells at the beginning of our relationship because I so didn’t want to disturb him. He was so frightened of anything that was extended, of letting people in. He’d show you some of himself, you’d really share something, and then you’d feel him backing off, and about an hour later coming to grips with himself. Like, ‘Why did I do that?’ ‘Is it alright that I did that?’ ‘Will she use it against me?’ He was incredibly vulnerable is what I’m trying to say. Yet people were always giving me advice like, ‘What are you doing with him? He’s the sickest boy I ever met…’ ‘You’d better keep away from him, he’s sick…’ No one ever said, ‘Oh Jimmy, yeah I know Jimmy,’ and left it at that. No, sir, people either loved him or got violently angry about him. It was very flipped out and he knew it. He sensed his isolation, though he would often cause it. It wasn’t what Jimmy wanted, but he just didn’t know. He was terribly afraid of approaching people. He used to say that he needed no one, that he cared for no one, which of course was not true. - Barbara Glenn

Jimmy was not good at reaching out, and you just knew that anything could be mistaken for a rejection. I felt like I was walking on eggshells at the beginning of our relationship because I so didn’t want to disturb him. He was so frightened of anything that was extended, of letting people in. He’d show you some of himself, you’d really share something, and then you’d feel him backing off, and about an hour later coming to grips with himself. Like, ‘Why did I do that?’ ‘Is it alright that I did that?’ ‘Will she use it against me?’ He was incredibly vulnerable is what I’m trying to say. Yet people were always giving me advice like, ‘What are you doing with him? He’s the sickest boy I ever met…’ ‘You’d better keep away from him, he’s sick…’ No one ever said, ‘Oh Jimmy, yeah I know Jimmy,’ and left it at that. No, sir, people either loved him or got violently angry about him. It was very flipped out and he knew it. He sensed his isolation, though he would often cause it. It wasn’t what Jimmy wanted, but he just didn’t know. He was terribly afraid of approaching people. He used to say that he needed no one, that he cared for no one, which of course was not true. - Barbara Glenn

(Source: jamesdeandaily, via somewhereto-losemyself)